a circle of
Many
stuffed animals
padded my neck
in my sleep
I waited at the front door
of thick glass and
wrought iron
Castro
was watching me
-----
Daddy why are you taking the Cat Spooky
Don't leave me here
instead of me
all alone
meeow
me
ow
-----
I was the worrier
on my school bus
I had on a leather stringed front door key
hung around my neck
and a very tangled pony-tail hair
that was not to be combed by anyone
But it was for a seriously good reason
that I was worrying
because
the man in the old Woolworth's
on Broadway between 93rd and 92nd Street
in the toy section
who had taken me into that building on 92st Street
might come back
for more Italian
hoola hoop lessons
and I wasn't wearing any leotard this time
-----
My grandfather taught me two sayings:
Un giocco e bello quando dura pocco
A joke is good when it's short
and
Chi canta al tavolo e a letto e un matto perfetto
whoever sings at the table or in bed is crazy
-----
Swimming pool
septum ladder show off
Stop flirting with the girls
and watch my
bump blinding
metal railing crash
Daddy
Madison Avenue witch lady
fix me white
shave my change
forget about it cut
you can smooth history
Barbie
but the bumps stay hysterically Italian
no snow job
-----
I met Johnny Rotten the day I decided on Black Babies with Jean Michel
Basquiat
Summer Rome 1983
Twelve years older than me
in my
Mommy's-in-the-front-seat Taxi cab back-seat whisper
I say
can I see your Track marks
from
Central Park
City As
Past life
don't leave any pinches
I'm a famous negro athlete
Japanese model type
Polaroids to prove I'm too young
in a second avenue chicken restaurant with your Dad the accountant
he says
Your mother is like a mother to him
I know
A box in a basement blaring
Michael'Angelo good-bye
dreads bye SAMO
-----
seventy-seven White Street
ten year old Sabine
At the Mudd Club's closing
in pink corner cockroach killers
and a Reminiscence leopard skin skirt
Cab with me back to St. Marks
Mr. foreign photographer Mohauk musician
I'm sixteen to sleep over
then sneak out to Kiev for Pancakes
from a Seventh Street fire escape window
with Justine Boyd
God that was fun
Thanks Mommy for the two hundred dollar allowance
Next Friday Roxy
-----
My mother said that my ass was fat
she said it in front of my father at my graduation dinner
my college graduation not my high school graduation
They couldn't come cause the were busy in Basel
But she used to think that her ass was fat too
compare it to a passerby on the beach
am I like her from behind?
And why were the fingers moving down there?
-------
Spontaneous
Catatonic
yearnings
in Chinatown for:
Blue sprinkles and New Year's Ever sparklers
Korean men's white socks with toes
a black plastic gun that looks very real
mung bean vermicelli noodles
not wicker but, what's it called in English, those summer place-mats
made of (in Italian) pallia?
plastic chopsticks that I could just steal from Souen if I didn't have a
conscience
lavander flower printed dishtowels
soaked writing paper
vitamin e and c
chrysanthemum tea
wrapped sandalwood soap
Chinese lady music
or an elegant Chinese HIV positive boy to penetrate me in an alley corner
As if I had no conscience
-----
He gave me a
sodomy painting
framed
in black
inner tire
tube
Inner Tire
Inside tired
entire inner tired
on fire
----
In all of 1996
I slept
for one year
on my floor
in my raggedy Anne sleeping bag
with my head
under the coffee table
that is made of cherry wood
shaped like a surf board
for protection
in case there was an
earthquake
in New York City
--------
On Earth
My ticklish beloved cat feet
were swimming in eternity pools
"preziosa e senza radice" (precious and deracinated)
I was a homeless eggplant
harmonious and ephemeral
Until my airplane got caught in the
butterfly net
Fog Fog Fog Fog Fog
At my retrospective
the Pope said "She had charisma"
In heaven I say:
Can I have a chocolate melon please?
Paolina Weber
copyright
(published in the Open City #9)